Your Rescue Dog’s Fear Didn’t Start with Them.

Wild Fendi

Fendi's story is unfortunately not unique. He was born on the streets of a large city in the Middle East to a young mother who was killed violently in front of him. Someone found Fendi and took him to the home of a woman raising numerous orphans on her own. All the orphans lived in one room, going outside a few times a day for exercise and to toilet. With very little outside contact, the orphans learnt quickly how to manage conflict amongst themselves, appease the bullies, and get the attention they craved. As a teenager, Fendi was adopted by a loving family that wanted to give him a better life, but where to start? How do you navigate living with a being that doesn't know what family means? That person doesn't know how to let their guard down? Whose first reaction will be to protect themselves from harm?

Fendi made the 24-hour flight to Vancouver in August 2020. My sister and I were there to meet the cargo plane, but Fendi had to wait 4 more hours in the crate until he and the other dogs had been cleared through customs. Eventually, the dogs were finally taken out of the hanger, and we opened the crate doors. Fendi did not move. He was curled in the back of the crate, eyes as big as headlamps, just staring at us. We took the top off the crate; I wrapped him in a towel and carried him to the car. I dropped my sister and Fendi off at my mom's residence, excited for them and relieved for Fendi. But we were unprepared for what came next.

Fendi was not like any dog we had interacted with before. He vibrated. He couldn't settle; he didn't eat; he paced. Now I know that his behaviour was completely normal for a dog who is trying to get his bearings and find safety in a new environment. Eventually, he did find comfort with my mom, he enjoyed treats, he loved being with other dogs, but he barked a lot: In the house, in the back yard, in the house, and he was extremely nervous around strangers. And that's when I became more involved. I wanted to help my mom's relationship with Fendi. I wanted to expand Fendi's pack of trusted people. I wanted to unlock the puzzle that was Fendi.

I learnt that puppies have windows in their development from 3-12 weeks of age that can affect them for the rest of their lives. Between 8 and 11 weeks of age, a puppy goes through a fear stage, like a toddler does when they suddenly seem more vulnerable to their surroundings,s and they look to their parents for reassurance. But what about the orphaned puppy, Fendi? He still went through the fear period, but without a mother or mothering person to help him move through the fear without becoming traumatized by it.

And what about Fendi's mother? She was living on the street, in a hostile environment and may have been impregnated during her first heat, at 8 months of age, still a puppy herself. She learnt from her own mother, who was probably also a very young mother, that the world is not safe, there is never enough food, and stay away from people. Their nervous systems were wired for stress before they opened their eyes.

So how do you do it? How do you love a dog, live with a dog that is wired so differently from you? Be the key that unlocks their fear. A dog that is hyper sensitive to potential threats wants a partner to go through the hard things with them. Someone who hears a loud sound outside, sees their dog freeze, and then says, "Hey, let's go check that out." A person who sees the world from their dog's eyes and when the dog reacts to a jack o lantern thinks"yep, that is weird that their light coming from that orange ball. Let's check this out together. A person who meets strangers on a trail, feels their dog tense up and can say "can you give me a minute to get my dog to a safe distance? And then let the dog decide how far away they want to be to feel safe.

What does this mean for you, practically? For us, it was hard. For the first year, it felt like one step forward, two steps backwards. Fendi still barked a lot in the house and was never comfortable with people being in my mom's house. He developed into a wonderful trail companion and made everyone laugh at agility. And most importantly for my mom, she and Fendi developed lifelong friendships with people they met at the dog park.

If you are looking at your dog right now and thinking, "Wow, this is harder than I thought." That's okay. It's okay to be frustrated or disappointed, or envious of someone else's "easy" dog. Then ask yourself, "I wonder what it means when my dog does___" Try asking yourself instead of "Why won't my dog say hi to strangers like everyone else's dogs?" "I wonder what it would be like to be patted on the head by people I don't know?"